Here is the story about these boys joining our family. I t begins with a friendship...
Rose’s Wish
After living in Kenya in the early 1980s, I felt I had come home. Now I had 2 homes, and I missed each equally when I was home at the other. My dilemma was how to share some of my life with each home.
I began leading 6 week trips for high school kids from the U.S. Part of the experience was a personal home-stay in a community while working on a project for which each student had raised funds. (The first year we helped to build a library.) As the students headed out with their Kenyan families, I was surprised and delighted to have my own home-stay.
Rose and I met and immediately were at home with each other. Her smile could melt a terrorist! We stayed up all night talking, sharing our lives up to the present. By morning we knew we had each found a sister by another mother. We were both young women, teachers, with many dreams. Rose wanted a family. She wanted to be a wonderful mother. She wanted to be a wonderful teacher. She wanted to travel. She wanted to come to the U.S.
The next year our trip included another project near the school where Rose taught, so of course she was my home-stay! I also arranged for Rose to work with our group. She taught Swahili and culture. We were delighted to stay together and to catch up on each other's news. It seemed as if we had seen each other just yesterday. We were at home with each other. Saying good-bye was always bittersweet. Sweet for the time we had together, bitter not knowing when we would see each other again.
Lucky for us there was a trip again the next summer. I had married, and my husband Kent came along as a co-leader having never been to Kenya! So off we went, a few weeks after our wedding. A honeymoon with 16 teenagers! Sigh... So another project was arranged near Rose in a nearby village. Kent and I had a home-stay in the village with our students. We got together with Rose, and she and Kent warmed to each other immediately. We arranged for Rose to join us for the rest of the trip as a co-leader. She was wonderful with the students, and her smile eased our way many times. She would beam that joy in someone's direction and they would suddenly want to do anything they could to assist us. Rose was so filled with joy that everyone near her would melt into that warmth. She combined that joy and warmth with a very strong interior. She would not tolerate injustice if there was anything she could do about it. She brought her kindness and warmth along with her amazing inner strength to meet injustice face to face. If there was a solution to be had, surely Rose would find it. And she often did!
We had a wonderful trip. It brought me such happiness to watch Rose see so many amazing places for the first time. Our last few days in Nairobi, we were joined by Rose's fiance. We all enjoyed each others company, and we were very happy for Rose. At the end it was very sad because we did not know when the universe would allow our paths to cross again.
Some years passed before we saw Rose again, though many letters exchanged hands and phone calls too when possible. (These were the days before cell phones, and few people even had land lines.) Connections were often poor, but the few we managed helped keep us close. Rose had her first child, Ronald! We were all so excited! Her husband had gotten a job teaching at Egarton University, and Rose was a secondary school teacher. Rose and her husband had a second child, another boy, Jimmy. Rose developed some back problems, but otherwise they were all well.
Finally Kent and I gathered up some friends and headed back to Kenya. After leading the group, we, along with our friend Rebecca, headed for Rose's house. It was so wonderful to be in Rose's presence again! And to meet her little boys: Ronnie was 5, and Jimmy was just a toddler. We did our best to make those few days count. We never knew when there would be time together again, but it always came around eventually. At the time of our visit, Rose was pregnant with her third child. We had been there a few days when Rose began having contractions. It was much too early in her pregnancy for this. We had a vehicle, so we rushed her to the hospital. They were able to stop the contractions and Rose carried her third to term. She told us that child would be named for one of us. The best Christmas present that year was a healthy boy named after Kent!
Just a few years later, Kent and I made it back to Kenya. We were in Nairobi with our own son, just 5 at the time, when the US embassy was bombed. By fate, divine intervention, serendipity, whatever you would like to call it, we did not go in the embassy that day. We got off the bus at the embassy to go inside, but decided since Kent was not feeling well, we would go get a cup of coffee and regroup before attending to our business at the embassy. We were buying cough drops a few blocks away when there was an amazing boom and rumble. The sky instantly went black. We were in hiding for hours before we felt safe to venture out. We went to a nearby cafe that had TV and usually showed CNN. They had reopened, so we watched on TV what was happening a few blocks away while our son munched happily on pizza with his back to the news.
When things calmed down we went to our favorite place, Rose's house, to regroup. We could not leave Kenya yet. It is a long story. The short of it is that we needed some papers from our embassy, but there was no embassy. We would have to wait while a temporary embassy was set up. So in the meantime, our children played together, innocent of all the trouble of the times. Rose and I watched our boys play and smiled at each other. Whatever you would like to call it, we did not go in the embassy that day. I cannot explain the peace of that moment with the children happy and all of us safe.
We did finally get our paperwork and were able to return home. We were sad to leave our friends and family in Kenya, never knowing when we would see each other again, and so glad to see our family and friends in the U.S. again!
Unfortunately, I had become ill while in Kenya this last trip. I became progressively worse, and it took months to find out I had actually contracted Lyme disease in the states before going to Kenya. I did not get better for years.
In the mean time we kept up with Rose and her family through letters and phone calls. Rose's husband became ill and died. Not long after his death, Rose became ill. The prognosis was not good. She continued to work even though quite ill. Without a husband's support, we began to help with money for drugs and doctors. We gave Rose start-up money for a small scale chicken/egg business to supplement their income and their diet. Eventually it became clear that having the boys at home had become too much for her. At that point, after long conversations with Rose, we put the boys in boarding school so that she did not worry about their care on a daily basis. They came home on holidays and school breaks, and Rose went to see them when she could.
To the amazement of all of us, including her doctors, Rose kept going. She and I kept waiting for me to recover enough to make the trip back to see her. Rose and I began to despair of ever seeing each other again. Kent and I promised to look after her boys. She made us promise they would go to college. An education was her dearest wish for her sons. We promised. We waited.
In 2007 Kent was invited to participate in a conference near Capetown South Africa, and it would pay his travel. We weren't sure I was really well enough for such a journey, but we decided to go. I excitedly called Rose. We had given up any hope of ever seeing each other again in this life. We made our plans with Rose. We would see her after first visiting our other family in Kenya. We would be traveling for a few weeks before we would be in Kenya, so we told her she wouldn't hear from us for awhile, but we would be there.
We left for South Africa. It is a very beautiful country. We had many adventures. Then it was time to move on to Kenya. Every time I have returned to Kenya, I disembark the plane and exhale with a deep sense of returning home. Never more than this time. We had arrived. I would see Rose soon.
We headed up country to see our other Kenyan family. It was a wonderful homecoming with them. It had been 9 years since we had been together. Our son was now preparing for secondary school. We enjoyed a relaxed time together. The days were sweet. But finally it was the day before heading on to see Rose. We did not call her because we wanted to surprise her. We were packing up and saying our good-byes when a message came for me. It was from Rose's sister. She had finally tracked us down. She told us Rose had passed away just after we headed for South Africa. They had been unable to reach us. She wanted to take the bus with us the next day so we could talk. I was in shock. I could not believe fate could be so cruel. We had waited so long, even given up hope of ever seeing each other again, and then finally the promise of a sweet reunion! There was no time to grieve.
We met Phylucia at the bus in the morning. I had not seen her since before Rose was married. She had been both older sister and a mother figure to Rose, and they were very close. I could not imagine the depth of her loss. We sat together in silence for a long time. She began to tell us of Rose's last days. She was taken seriously ill suddenly and rushed to the hospital. They could do nothing for her. Still no one could believe Rose would die. She had been so ill and rallied time and time again. Suddenly Rose asked her cousin for a piece of paper and pen, she needed to write a will. He told us later he thought she was joking. She was not. She could barely hold the pen, could not lift her head. She knew it was time. She scratched notes on the back of an envelope as best she could. She wanted us to take her boys. I will never forget sitting on that bus looking down at that envelope. We were silent.
When we got to Rose's house we sat down to talk with Phylucia and one of Rose's cousins. The boys were back at their boarding schools. Sadly, we had no official papers granting us custody of the boys. Even if we had, Kenya was no longer granting international adoptions. The best we could do was to keep them in boarding schools. We all agreed that keeping things the same, as much as possible, for the boys would be best. No one else in the family had the means to do this. The two younger boys were still in primary school, and Ronnie was in secondary school.
We made plans to go visit the boys, but because they were in school, we could only spend a few hours with them. We had not seen Ronnie and Jimmy in 9 years. Ronnie had been 7, Jimmy had been 5 and Kent was a toddler. Before arriving at the primary school to see Jimmy and Kent, we stopped to pick up some treats. When we arrived the boys were given leave to visit with us outside where we could sit together. It took some time for the boys to relax, but sodas and sweets helped a bit. We talked, introduced them to our son, expressed our love for their mother and for them, expressed our deepest sorrow and reassured them that we would be their family, though half way around the world. We told them that their mother's dearest wish was for them to complete their education as far as they could possibly go. We asked them to work hard, as she would want, and that she and we would be looking out for them.
The time was too short, but we had to go away. We left in tears and traveled to Ronnie's secondary school, only a few kilometers. The whole scene was replayed, but Ronnie spoke very little. I saw the sorrow of the world in his eyes. He had been helping to care for his mother at much too young an age. He became the man of the house when his father died. He took that seriously. He and his mother were very close. We tried to comfort him but felt we failed. Still, we had to go. We continued our journey and soon left for home with heavy hearts. Those words seem inadequate, but...
Flash forward to now: Ronnie is studying pre-law in University. James has just started a program in tourism in the same town as Ronnie, so they can stay together and keep costs down. I know Rose would be so happy to see how close her boys are. Kent is finishing secondary school. They have all worked hard to do well.
Ronnie has taken responsibility for his brothers. He takes care of everything for them, lets us know how much they need each term, and just where that money will go. He budgets carefully. When we haven't quite had the total amount, he has found a way to manage.
Over the years with inflation and moving from secondary school to University, the cost has gone up. Our son is himself a college student, so our own expenses have also gone up, along with my medical bills. For the first time in all these years, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to come up with the money to support our godsons.
For this reason, we are asking you to help us, in whatever way you can, to grant Rose's wish. You can help with prayers, with sharing this with others, with asking for help from community groups, and of course donations would be humbly appreciated.
As each boy finishes school and becomes employed, he will help the younger. We hope some day to be able to help others and have them "pay it forward" also.
If you can help in any way, please let us know so we can thank you. If you have donations, please contact us.
Rose’s Wish
After living in Kenya in the early 1980s, I felt I had come home. Now I had 2 homes, and I missed each equally when I was home at the other. My dilemma was how to share some of my life with each home.
I began leading 6 week trips for high school kids from the U.S. Part of the experience was a personal home-stay in a community while working on a project for which each student had raised funds. (The first year we helped to build a library.) As the students headed out with their Kenyan families, I was surprised and delighted to have my own home-stay.
Rose and I met and immediately were at home with each other. Her smile could melt a terrorist! We stayed up all night talking, sharing our lives up to the present. By morning we knew we had each found a sister by another mother. We were both young women, teachers, with many dreams. Rose wanted a family. She wanted to be a wonderful mother. She wanted to be a wonderful teacher. She wanted to travel. She wanted to come to the U.S.
The next year our trip included another project near the school where Rose taught, so of course she was my home-stay! I also arranged for Rose to work with our group. She taught Swahili and culture. We were delighted to stay together and to catch up on each other's news. It seemed as if we had seen each other just yesterday. We were at home with each other. Saying good-bye was always bittersweet. Sweet for the time we had together, bitter not knowing when we would see each other again.
Lucky for us there was a trip again the next summer. I had married, and my husband Kent came along as a co-leader having never been to Kenya! So off we went, a few weeks after our wedding. A honeymoon with 16 teenagers! Sigh... So another project was arranged near Rose in a nearby village. Kent and I had a home-stay in the village with our students. We got together with Rose, and she and Kent warmed to each other immediately. We arranged for Rose to join us for the rest of the trip as a co-leader. She was wonderful with the students, and her smile eased our way many times. She would beam that joy in someone's direction and they would suddenly want to do anything they could to assist us. Rose was so filled with joy that everyone near her would melt into that warmth. She combined that joy and warmth with a very strong interior. She would not tolerate injustice if there was anything she could do about it. She brought her kindness and warmth along with her amazing inner strength to meet injustice face to face. If there was a solution to be had, surely Rose would find it. And she often did!
We had a wonderful trip. It brought me such happiness to watch Rose see so many amazing places for the first time. Our last few days in Nairobi, we were joined by Rose's fiance. We all enjoyed each others company, and we were very happy for Rose. At the end it was very sad because we did not know when the universe would allow our paths to cross again.
Some years passed before we saw Rose again, though many letters exchanged hands and phone calls too when possible. (These were the days before cell phones, and few people even had land lines.) Connections were often poor, but the few we managed helped keep us close. Rose had her first child, Ronald! We were all so excited! Her husband had gotten a job teaching at Egarton University, and Rose was a secondary school teacher. Rose and her husband had a second child, another boy, Jimmy. Rose developed some back problems, but otherwise they were all well.
Finally Kent and I gathered up some friends and headed back to Kenya. After leading the group, we, along with our friend Rebecca, headed for Rose's house. It was so wonderful to be in Rose's presence again! And to meet her little boys: Ronnie was 5, and Jimmy was just a toddler. We did our best to make those few days count. We never knew when there would be time together again, but it always came around eventually. At the time of our visit, Rose was pregnant with her third child. We had been there a few days when Rose began having contractions. It was much too early in her pregnancy for this. We had a vehicle, so we rushed her to the hospital. They were able to stop the contractions and Rose carried her third to term. She told us that child would be named for one of us. The best Christmas present that year was a healthy boy named after Kent!
Just a few years later, Kent and I made it back to Kenya. We were in Nairobi with our own son, just 5 at the time, when the US embassy was bombed. By fate, divine intervention, serendipity, whatever you would like to call it, we did not go in the embassy that day. We got off the bus at the embassy to go inside, but decided since Kent was not feeling well, we would go get a cup of coffee and regroup before attending to our business at the embassy. We were buying cough drops a few blocks away when there was an amazing boom and rumble. The sky instantly went black. We were in hiding for hours before we felt safe to venture out. We went to a nearby cafe that had TV and usually showed CNN. They had reopened, so we watched on TV what was happening a few blocks away while our son munched happily on pizza with his back to the news.
When things calmed down we went to our favorite place, Rose's house, to regroup. We could not leave Kenya yet. It is a long story. The short of it is that we needed some papers from our embassy, but there was no embassy. We would have to wait while a temporary embassy was set up. So in the meantime, our children played together, innocent of all the trouble of the times. Rose and I watched our boys play and smiled at each other. Whatever you would like to call it, we did not go in the embassy that day. I cannot explain the peace of that moment with the children happy and all of us safe.
We did finally get our paperwork and were able to return home. We were sad to leave our friends and family in Kenya, never knowing when we would see each other again, and so glad to see our family and friends in the U.S. again!
Unfortunately, I had become ill while in Kenya this last trip. I became progressively worse, and it took months to find out I had actually contracted Lyme disease in the states before going to Kenya. I did not get better for years.
In the mean time we kept up with Rose and her family through letters and phone calls. Rose's husband became ill and died. Not long after his death, Rose became ill. The prognosis was not good. She continued to work even though quite ill. Without a husband's support, we began to help with money for drugs and doctors. We gave Rose start-up money for a small scale chicken/egg business to supplement their income and their diet. Eventually it became clear that having the boys at home had become too much for her. At that point, after long conversations with Rose, we put the boys in boarding school so that she did not worry about their care on a daily basis. They came home on holidays and school breaks, and Rose went to see them when she could.
To the amazement of all of us, including her doctors, Rose kept going. She and I kept waiting for me to recover enough to make the trip back to see her. Rose and I began to despair of ever seeing each other again. Kent and I promised to look after her boys. She made us promise they would go to college. An education was her dearest wish for her sons. We promised. We waited.
In 2007 Kent was invited to participate in a conference near Capetown South Africa, and it would pay his travel. We weren't sure I was really well enough for such a journey, but we decided to go. I excitedly called Rose. We had given up any hope of ever seeing each other again in this life. We made our plans with Rose. We would see her after first visiting our other family in Kenya. We would be traveling for a few weeks before we would be in Kenya, so we told her she wouldn't hear from us for awhile, but we would be there.
We left for South Africa. It is a very beautiful country. We had many adventures. Then it was time to move on to Kenya. Every time I have returned to Kenya, I disembark the plane and exhale with a deep sense of returning home. Never more than this time. We had arrived. I would see Rose soon.
We headed up country to see our other Kenyan family. It was a wonderful homecoming with them. It had been 9 years since we had been together. Our son was now preparing for secondary school. We enjoyed a relaxed time together. The days were sweet. But finally it was the day before heading on to see Rose. We did not call her because we wanted to surprise her. We were packing up and saying our good-byes when a message came for me. It was from Rose's sister. She had finally tracked us down. She told us Rose had passed away just after we headed for South Africa. They had been unable to reach us. She wanted to take the bus with us the next day so we could talk. I was in shock. I could not believe fate could be so cruel. We had waited so long, even given up hope of ever seeing each other again, and then finally the promise of a sweet reunion! There was no time to grieve.
We met Phylucia at the bus in the morning. I had not seen her since before Rose was married. She had been both older sister and a mother figure to Rose, and they were very close. I could not imagine the depth of her loss. We sat together in silence for a long time. She began to tell us of Rose's last days. She was taken seriously ill suddenly and rushed to the hospital. They could do nothing for her. Still no one could believe Rose would die. She had been so ill and rallied time and time again. Suddenly Rose asked her cousin for a piece of paper and pen, she needed to write a will. He told us later he thought she was joking. She was not. She could barely hold the pen, could not lift her head. She knew it was time. She scratched notes on the back of an envelope as best she could. She wanted us to take her boys. I will never forget sitting on that bus looking down at that envelope. We were silent.
When we got to Rose's house we sat down to talk with Phylucia and one of Rose's cousins. The boys were back at their boarding schools. Sadly, we had no official papers granting us custody of the boys. Even if we had, Kenya was no longer granting international adoptions. The best we could do was to keep them in boarding schools. We all agreed that keeping things the same, as much as possible, for the boys would be best. No one else in the family had the means to do this. The two younger boys were still in primary school, and Ronnie was in secondary school.
We made plans to go visit the boys, but because they were in school, we could only spend a few hours with them. We had not seen Ronnie and Jimmy in 9 years. Ronnie had been 7, Jimmy had been 5 and Kent was a toddler. Before arriving at the primary school to see Jimmy and Kent, we stopped to pick up some treats. When we arrived the boys were given leave to visit with us outside where we could sit together. It took some time for the boys to relax, but sodas and sweets helped a bit. We talked, introduced them to our son, expressed our love for their mother and for them, expressed our deepest sorrow and reassured them that we would be their family, though half way around the world. We told them that their mother's dearest wish was for them to complete their education as far as they could possibly go. We asked them to work hard, as she would want, and that she and we would be looking out for them.
The time was too short, but we had to go away. We left in tears and traveled to Ronnie's secondary school, only a few kilometers. The whole scene was replayed, but Ronnie spoke very little. I saw the sorrow of the world in his eyes. He had been helping to care for his mother at much too young an age. He became the man of the house when his father died. He took that seriously. He and his mother were very close. We tried to comfort him but felt we failed. Still, we had to go. We continued our journey and soon left for home with heavy hearts. Those words seem inadequate, but...
Flash forward to now: Ronnie is studying pre-law in University. James has just started a program in tourism in the same town as Ronnie, so they can stay together and keep costs down. I know Rose would be so happy to see how close her boys are. Kent is finishing secondary school. They have all worked hard to do well.
Ronnie has taken responsibility for his brothers. He takes care of everything for them, lets us know how much they need each term, and just where that money will go. He budgets carefully. When we haven't quite had the total amount, he has found a way to manage.
Over the years with inflation and moving from secondary school to University, the cost has gone up. Our son is himself a college student, so our own expenses have also gone up, along with my medical bills. For the first time in all these years, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to come up with the money to support our godsons.
For this reason, we are asking you to help us, in whatever way you can, to grant Rose's wish. You can help with prayers, with sharing this with others, with asking for help from community groups, and of course donations would be humbly appreciated.
As each boy finishes school and becomes employed, he will help the younger. We hope some day to be able to help others and have them "pay it forward" also.
If you can help in any way, please let us know so we can thank you. If you have donations, please contact us.
